


Cancer's One Hell of a Disease

by fairly_addicted



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Based on a Twenty One Pilots Song, Cancer, Hospitals, M/M, Sad, Soulmates, can you guess where i got inspiration from, ive been listening to their cancer cover a lot lately
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 17:33:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17585258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairly_addicted/pseuds/fairly_addicted
Summary: Tyler has cancer and his boyfriend Josh misses his final moments.(this was sorta rushed and i was looking through tears for half of it, lmk if you spot any grammatical/spelling errors or weird flow. i always appreciate feedback!!)





	Cancer's One Hell of a Disease

“Could you please get me a cup of water?”  
“Yeah, of course,” he replied quickly, almost jumping up. Tyler never asked for much, especially now, and Josh wanted to be as useful as possible in this time of crisis. He filled the styrofoam cup up with lukewarm water and returned to the frail figure on the bed, tipping the cup to help the other take a sip.  
Clearing his throat as much as he could muster, Tyler asked, “did you call yet?”  
“No, I-I haven’t had a free minute,” Josh ran a hand through his red hair. He was becoming a better liar by the day. He’d been meaning to call Tyler’s aunt, he really meant to, but most of his time was taken by visiting his soulmate as often as he could and crying in the somber silence of home. Crying over how he couldn’t save him, how Josh would possibly have to live on without his true love, his best friend, his saviour. He almost cried again today before walking into Tyler’s room, but there were no more tears left to shed.  
Tyler, who was looking out the window now, was fighting so hard, and Josh could see, but neither really thought he was going to make it out alive this time. Tyler had already come to terms with it, but Josh still couldn’t even process it. All of that time, all of their planning, wasted due to some goddamn disease that crippled his significant other. They knew they would never marry. Even if Tyler somehow miraculously evaded death, he would still be too weak, and it could take years for him to rebuild his strength, if he even ever could. This damned cancer had stolen so much from them.  
Josh realised he had been staring. He only noticed because Tyler had turned his head to stare back, those dark, tired eyes staring right into Josh’s soul. Josh was lucky he had no more tears, as Tyler hated when he cried for him, but that look killed Josh inside. He grabbed Tyler’s cold hand and squeezed, trying to give the other his own life essence, anything to make that face look anything other than gaunt.  
“This just ain’t livin, y’know?” Tyler said quietly after a moment. His eyes looked damp, but nothing more than pain and a thousand yard stare escaped them. Josh wanted to do something, anything, to make him feel better, but the chemo was kicking his ass.  
“I know,” Josh whispered, barely audible. He looked at their intertwined hands, his so much bigger than Tyler's.  
“Josh,” Tyler said, almost pleading. Josh met his eyes again, dry now. “Josh, please know that I love you so, so much. That’s-” he erupted into another coughing fit, luckily with no blood this time. Josh helped Tyler take another sip of water, then he continued, weaker this time, “that’s why I’m telling you this. I don’t think I’ve got much longer. I know we had it all planned out, but-” Josh cut him off.  
“No, Tyler, you have to believe. Have some faith that you’ll make it through, please,” he stopped as Tyler opened his chapped lips to speak again.  
“I’m empty in that department, you know that. I haven’t had faith for a while,” he rasped. “Just, please, make the arrangements. Hell, have my family do it. I just don’t want you to remember me like this.”  
Josh thanked God once more for empty tear ducts as he solemnly stared at his boyfriend, trying to imprint his face into his brain. They spoke a bit more, about the weather and cool dogs Josh had seen on the way over, before the nurse came by to kick Josh out for the night. They hugged, as Tyler wouldn’t allow Josh to kiss him in this state. After a final “see you tomorrow”, Josh left, staring as long as he could at the skeleton on the bed while the nurse almost pushed him out of the room. Josh prayed the entire way back to their apartment, chilled by the cool fall air, and falling once again into his newer routine.  
When he got home, Josh flopped down on the huge armchair they used to sit curled up on together. He could still faintly smell Tyler, even though his lover had been away for so long now. The nights were the hardest for Josh; going to sleep in a half empty bed (if he made it that far), not knowing if Tyler would see the next day, if it was the morning he’d wake up to The Call. 

~~~

Josh eventually passed out on the chair in a deep sleep from the emotional toll until his phone rang loudly sometime in the early morning. He scrambled to answer, not checking who it was even from first.  
“Hello?” the other side spoke. “Is this Joshua Dun?”  
“Y-yes, this is,” he replied, cursing himself for being so frantic.  
“I’m so sorry Mr. Dun.-”  
Josh didn’t hear the rest. He jumped up and got to the hospital in record time, the autumn wind seeming to push him as he ran to Tyler’s room. The graveyard shift of nurses and doctors tried to stop him as he flew by, but he dodged their reaching hands and arms, tears starting to stream down his face again. He didn’t care, he just needed to see Tyler.  
As he got to the room he spent the better half of the past three weeks in, he froze in the doorframe, trying to wipe away the tears as best as possible. He gingerly walked over to Tyler, the machines around the latter ringing into silence as Josh, stunned, fully took in what had happened. He rushed the last few steps, collapsing on the side of the bed, taking his beloved's hand in his own. He buried his face in the others cold arm, tears soaking the bed sheet below.  
“No, no, no,” Josh whimpered, refusing to believe reality. The nurses didn’t even try to escort him out; they saw the raw pain on his face, the way his shoulders shuddered as he cried in silent, broken sobs. His soulmate was gone. 

~~~

Josh woke up slouched on cold tile floor, forgetting where he was as he blinked crust out of his puffy eyes. He tried using his hand to rub his eye, but realised he was still gripping something.  
Then it hit him: Tyler was dead. Tyler was dead and Josh was too late. He wasn’t there for his last seconds, to send his soulmate off to oblivion. He immediately stood up, looking at Tyler, who truthfully hadn’t changed much in his lifeless state compared to even a few days before. Josh put his hand on Tyler’s forehead, trying to bring him back to this side, back into his arms. He collapsed once more. Too weak to stand, burying his face into the others chest. He dry sobbed, as he was completely out of tears. 

~~~

Exactly four days later, Josh was standing over the silver casket about to be put in the ground. He stood tall, though he didn’t feel it, dressed from head to toe in stark black, his red hair sticking out like a sore thumb. Tyler’s family had luckily taken over the arrangements, each one giving their condolences to Josh for the loss, Josh doing the same in return. As much as it pained him to think of his boyfriends parents burying their child, Josh was thankful they did. He had felt numb ever since the morgue came to pick up the body, Josh finally realising that Tyler was gone.  
He wasn’t sure he’d ever fully realise it, though. A part of him would always hope to open their apartment door to Tyler sitting on their favourite chair, a goofy smile plastered on his face in greeting.  
The thought made Josh smile for the first time in days, the same smile quickly disappearing as he watched the casket slowly lower into the ground. He didn’t cry once all day. However, the second he closed the apartment door behind him, his legs buckled as he broke down and met the floor once again. It wasn’t fair, what the hell did they do to deserve this?! Josh pleaded with God, trying, though impossible, to bargain to bring his friend back. Through his flashing thoughts came older memories of them together, ones Josh was sure Tyler wanted people to remember over his dried up, almost-corpse state. Josh didn’t remember getting up, but some time later he was in bed, gripping Tyler’s pillow and covering himself with the sheets that shared his lovers scent, one he hoped he’d never forget. 

~~~ 

Josh stood at the tombstone he could almost walk to blind at this point. He sat on the newly forming grass,, still a bit dewy from the morning, his arms propping him up. He had just finished telling Tyler about Josh’s sister’s birthday party from the night before.  
This had been his ritual for a few months now, visiting Tyler and telling him about his day, how their parents were, catching him up on the daily life happenings. Josh didn’t cry every time now. He wanted to almost every visit, but now, more often than not, no tears formed. He missed Tyler dearly, and he never went a day without talking to him. If he did it was because he was out of town or horrible Columbus weather, but he still tried his damnedest.  
“I miss you, Tyler,” Josh said, getting up and wiping the wet grass from his jeans. “I still love you. I hope you’re ok.”  
With a kiss on the top of the tombstone and one last longing look, Josh made his way back to his car, one day closer to seeing his beloved again.


End file.
